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Let’s spend some time together…

Let’s spend some time together… ’cause that’s what it is about. Why do we play golf? For some it is to get outside, get some exercise, enjoy a few laughs, hit the little white ball, and yes, to spend some time together.

The call

My sister called me one day and said, “Let’s spend some time together.” Which I thought was a fabulous idea and wondered what she had up her sleeve. We had to figure out what we were going to do, which is often a challenge because we are sooooooo different. Much to my surprise, she suggested coming golfing with me! Why a surprise you ask? Well, as I mentioned before we are totally different. I am the “jockette” who loves all sports and has tried to play all sports. She is open to trying all sports and more enthusiastically excels in the arts. As she has told me many times, “Couch potatoes don’t need reconstructive surgery!” I have had several broken bones and have pins and screws holding me together…enough said.

The best part

We had a beautiful day on the course. We laughed, joked, and I am sure if anyone was listening, caused a disturbance on the golf course ☺She would pick up her ball if she hadn’t hit it well, and put it up by my shot. We took turns hitting out of the bunkers, sometimes I would hit her ball. Otherwise, it might come flying out because it had been thrown. I do believe that a multiple of “foot wedges” and “breakfast balls” (even though we teed off after lunch) and “mulligans” was used that day. Oh my! We did have fun. 

The best part of it all, we were spending time together. 

Play together

That is one of the things that I love the most about golf. Regardless of your ability, everyone can play together. It doesn’t matter how good you are, or how bad you are. If you want to keep score, the handicap system makes the playing field even at the end of the day. If you don’t want to keep score, you don’t have to. One person can, or no one can. Golf is a game that is played in a group, and everyone plays their own game.  It can even be played as a team game.

A story

I guess you are wondering why I decided to write about this today. Well, I have a story to tell you. A few years ago, I was looking for someone to play golf with. So I asked if they would like to go and play. They responded, “No way! You’re too good!” Now for some people that would have made them happy, but for me, it hurt.

I took up golf regularly in 2006, and I most certainly wasn’t “too good.” I had a long ways to go. I thought the person I had asked would join me and we would have fun out there. I ran their comment over in my brain and tried to remember if I had ever made anyone feel uncomfortable or unwelcome on the course. I laughed at myself when I goofed up and thought everyone was playing their own game. I didn’t ever tell someone how to play unless they asked my opinion. And believe me, back then I didn’t even know what I was doing…let alone anyone else!

It still hurt

Fast forward to this past week. Once again, I mentioned to someone, “If you ever want to go out and play I would love to go with you!” and the response was, “No way! You’re too good!” Well, it still hurt, and this is what I said. “That is too bad. I thought we could go and have fun. Would you like it if I responded to you,” I don’t want to play with you because you aren’t good enough?” That is how much it hurt.

It was a different perspective for the person to see. 

I explained to her that golf is great because everyone, regardless of ability can go and play together. Golf is fantastic because we get to exercise outside and enjoy the view and the fresh air. Golf is one of the only sports that you can play almost as soon as you can walk to almost the day you die. I told her the story of golfing with my sister and how much fun we had.

And then I said to her, “If you ever want to go and play golf, let’s spend some time together… ’cause that’s what it is about.”


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  • Kp

    Well said!
    Will you be my sista?
    I just thought about when I started golf and I’d always try to play with the better golfers. Sometimes they’d say yes. I practiced lots, and eventually became better than them and that was the last time they had ‘room’ in their foursome! What’s a girl to do!!

  • Marian Gorsline

    Enjoyed this article, Heather–thanks. I was struck by how hurt you were by the comments made by others you invited to join you on the course. As you know, I am an average golfer and yet even I have have received a similar response at times when suggesting a game with a new friend or acquaintance–“you’re too good”. Somehow I have never taken that response personally. I have always believed that this is simply a reflection of the other person’s fears and lack of confidence in their game and not at all a negative reflection on me, my game, or how I interact with others on the course. I also have understood that there is very little I can do to change the feelings/sentiments of another person. Heck, it’s hard enough to change our own right?? So good for you to make that effort and persevere. I can personally attest to the fact that even though you truly are a wonderful golfer with skills far beyond my level, whenever we have played, I have never felt intimidated by your great play or judged for my play. I have always felt encouraged, enlightened and happy to be on the course with you. We always have fun and as you so eloquently state in your blog, that is really the best part of this wonderful game isn’t it?

    • Heather

      It is the best part of the game 🙂
      Everyone reacts differently, and I am learning 🙂
      We are really lucky to be able to play this game and share it with everyone, all over the world.
      We always do have fun, and thank you Marian!

  • Phyllis Ring

    Hi Heather
    I loved reading “Let’s Spend Time Together”
    I think I will feel much more relaxed on the golf course from now on. I put a lot of pressure on myself on Tuesday ladies day because I am always worrying about who I am golfing with. I can’t even say why I feel this as all the ladies are so friendly.
    Maybe I will even start hitting the ball over #16 because I will be more relaxed.
    Thanks for a great article.

    • Heather

      You are most welcome Phyllis!
      I bet you will indeed hit it over the water. Because, really? In the great scheme of things…why are we out there?!

  • Sharon

    They is so true. I had the same comment said to me and did not like it. You try to tell them let’s go and have fun. When ever I was in a team game I would congratulate any one who could sink a put or any other good shot
    Because I am not a good putter. I have a lower handicap now and players though I was an assecat but really I was a hendrence if I didn’t get par on every hole.
    No matter what you do have fun.

  • Barb

    Great post,
    So many people only play for competiton, rather than friendship Know you are not one of them. Hope nobody makes you feel badly again. B

  • Georgie Adams

    Loved your “Let’s spend time together”! This has inspired me to get my two sisters to come out and play a fun round with me. Thanks!

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